I Just Wanna Be OK, Be OK

It's difficult to think that I've already been in Austin for almost two weeks. It feels like forever and so recent, all at the same time. I have been attempting to keep myself busy and it's easy to find things to do and friends to catch up with, but Germany is always somewhere in the back of my mind.

I miss German beer. German Bread. Pepino's salad dressing. Okay, everything that Pepino makes. My host family. Going into the city and just walking. Public transportation. World Cup public viewings. Legally buying alcohol. Speaking German. Hearing German. CBYXers. Hanging out by the river. Open public parks without curfew. Drinking in the park. An amazing view after a hike. My other host family. The Kaiserstuhl. Ice cream parlors. Freiburg. My host mom's cooking. My Bonn host dad's cooking. Beavis and Butthead with my host dad. Saying "eh?". Bahlingen. German TV. German summer. Berlin. Lemon ice cream. Independence. 

To top it all off, everything seems to have come all at once. I simply can't juggle a million problems; one is enough, thank you very much. 

And to think I thought I would be smarter after the fourth time... Being home would be exponentially better if you were here to enjoy it with me. I miss you terribly, but I can't play these games anymore. I'm going to "put you in the parking lot" until maybe one of these days, you realize what you want. Better hurry up and figure out what it is because one day, I won't be here. I am so exhausted.